Hey Vaughn,
So what's this about you going to film school in Mexico?
Are you for real?
You should do it, man.
I'm still going to be a rapper.
We just gotta work at it.
Today I took a walking tour through Beverly Hills.
My mission was to get my photo with someone famous.
The tour was peaceful and good exercise, but a little boring.
"This house is worth 30 million dollars,"
"This one has a bowling alley inside,"
"This one has a zoo with monkeys."
You couldn't see many of the houses because they were behind gates or trees.
This is me and my Swedish friend in front of the Playboy Mansion.
They wouldn’t let us in.
I almost quit the tour to play golf when I found out they have a public pitch and putt that costs $2.
The tour group was chatting in a circle when I hear somebody yell, "Four!"
I got hit in the calf with a golf ball by a five year old.
I rolled on the ground making a big deal out of it, but his Dad wouldn't give me any money.
On our way into another exclusive neighbourhood I got talking to Linda Welton.
She sits at the corner and sells maps detailing where famous movie stars live.
Back in 1939 her grandfather was the first to sell star maps.
Then in 1978 Linda's mother went all the way to the Supreme Court to win her right to continue selling star maps.
Linda continues the legacy.
A car pulled up and Linda name dropped about fifty A-list stars and where they live in about two minutes.
She sells the maps for twenty bucks.
According to my tour guide they're very inaccurate.
We made it to Rodeo Drive and my real mission began: get my photo taken with a star.
I hit all the big name stores.
They're beautiful stores; they're like art galleries.
I tried on a $500 Gucci handbag and some $1700 Dolce and Gabbanna shorts.
Finally I saw a group of paparazzi hanging out in the alley behind Prada.
Victoria Beckham (Posh Spice) was inside doing some shopping with her kid.
There was about twenty pap's with big cameras or video cameras
and about forty regular people (mostly young women) with small cameras.
Everyone was excited, but we had to wait a long time.
The pap's all knew each other and they were pretty funny.
They made fun of a few girls whose Dad had threatened, "We have to go right now or my car's gonna get towed. Either come now or take a taxi!"
The back door of Prada opened and everybody lifted their cameras but it was just some lady.
A pap said, "Victoria, you look different. Did you get a face job?"
There was a pap with a pompodorio, a pap with a beer belly, a transvestite pap in a one-piece purple suit and a pap with the same "It's all good" T-shirt my mum wears.
I asked the pap with the same shirt as my mum how she became a pap and she said, “I took a photo of a famous person and realized that that’s what I needed to do.”
Finally Posh Spice came out and everybody went crazy.
I got a blurry shot of her sitting in her back seat doing nothing.
When her car pulled out everybody ran after it.
After she was gone it was even more exciting. As some random guy on the sidewalk put it: "It was like a party came out of nowhere."
One pap re-enacted how he'd fired off shots while being pushed aside by a body guard.
One pap lamented how his camera had not been in multi-shot mode.
In the video below a girl takes a shot of the LCD displays of a Pap's camera,
and an agent makes an offer to buy a photo from another girl.
Generally, it was fucking nuts.
One pap commented on my blurry photo, "It's not bad."
